If I don’t write it down right then and there, it’s almost as good as gone.
I’m somewhere between 10% done with 90% of my ambitions or 90% done with 100 percent of myself getting in the way.
I pivot like I’m on a spindle. I literally pivot like I’m on a spindle. I’m constantly writing, filming and thinking. My thoughts get the best of me. Seemingly the best of me. I can hear my “voice over”, over my voice at times.
What about when I’m not working? When the cameras not pressing record and I’m still in this “reality” and I’m just trying to live?
When I’m not able to take my hands off devices and take my eyes off of screens and out of viewfinder’s. When I can’t shut it off.
Breathe for a moment…
I’m just supposed to be experiencing life right now aren’t I? I could have every single this, that and the third set up for this moment and what led up to it that I’d forgotten to capture but it’d have never fully realized it like I have. And the audacity of me; trying to replicate it like it’d have unfolded and just bask in it instead of the incessant thought of “how beautiful this breathe of life has been; i want us to remember this”.
Maybe even, “you wouldn’t believe it if I told, I would’ve had to show you this moment to believe it. I’m sorry you missed it”.
I feel is my blessing and my curse.
My mother is my biggest supporter and she even reiterated the word repeatedly as an admonishment to me growing up; before I even knew what it meant. Chauvinistic. She saw it in me cause how dare I have the gall to even think I could grasp such a moment so beautiful. Moments like that are only meant to be experienced. Takbir. Salawat.
If I for-get, it makes me wonder what I’d get it for.
I know I have to write it down, that’s why I started writing now that’s why you hear that lightning sound: It’s a natural reaction.
Kinda like when you take two peas in a pod
Son said they both was nasty
But you gotta educate. You just take in these drinks and candy?
Grab me a glass of water and sit down so I can tell you lastly.
I was just like you. I swear to God, I’m lying-He strike me down.
But you lost and He love you He send some real ones guide you round
See it’s quite possible, you enjoy the bad like it’s a blessing
and take all the good inside your life just sit there and stress it
Look at the volume. Look at the volume, don’t turn me down.
As a whole, now humble thyself put yourself close to the ground.
I lower my own volume when I need to. Don’t concede to.
They’ll try stifle you. Shove ya fucking arm on top a needle.
They oppress you. Stare and say we’re not oppressive people.
Say you can’t do that illegal then do everything illegal.
Leave a Reply